Make your writing clear

Say what you mean

For example, the sentence

An increase in pressure drop caused a decrease in the likelihood of ignition success.

suggests direct causation. However, if this was an observational study, the two outcomes were probably observed to occur together, but direct causation was not demonstrated. If so, the sentence should be phrased as

An increase in pressure drop was associated with a decrease in the likelihood of ignition success [1].

Clarify pronouns

Pronouns are words that are used to refer to other nouns. Examples include it, which, this, that and they. The noun that a pronoun refers to should be made clear to readers.

For example, in the sentence

X binds Y, which enables Z.

it is unclear what the word which refers to: X, Y, or the binding of X and Y.

To clarify, the sentence could be rephrased as

X binds Y, and this binding enables Z.

or more directly

Binding of X to Y enables Z.

Make your writing specific

Use specific descriptions

For example, in the sentence

Fuel consumption slightly improved during operation.

Whether the improvement means an increase or a decrease is unclear. This sentence would be better rephrased as

Fuel consumption slightly decreased during operation [2].

Provide quantification

Avoid vague descriptions when describing quantities. For example, change

Nearly half a dozen studies have been performed.

to the more specific

Five studies have been performed.

Also quantify vague descriptions when possible. For example,

Italy incinerates much of its waste at waste-to-energy plants.

could be changed to the more specific

In Italy, approximately 6 million tons of municipal solid waste are incinerated annually at waste-to-energy plants [3].

Use simple language

Remove unnecessary words

Rephrase wordy sentences to convey your meaning more directly. For example,

Our results showed that the design of the tulip shape bluff-body had a significant promotion effect on flame stabilization.

could be rephrased as

The design of the tulip shape bluff-body significantly promoted flame stabilization [4].

In another example,

Due to the fact that we observed that the titanium foil was not flat, it is tempting to speculate that the warpage might potentially have caused uneven glue thickness.

could be rephrased as

Because the titanium foil was not flat, the warpage might potentially have caused uneven glue thickness [5].

Avoid redundancy

The same information should not be repeated in adjacent sentences. For example, in

The energy storage capacity increased as the current density decreased. Therefore, energy storage capacity and current density are directly related [6].

the second sentence could be deleted, because both sentences describe the same direct relationship.

Use sentence structure to guide readers

Place the topic near the beginning of a sentence, and consider making the topic the subject of the verb.

Structuring sentences in this way helps clarify the main topic of the sentence to readers.

For example,

The partial cooling of the heat exchanger decreased the gasket contact pressure.

suggests to readers that the sentence is about the partial cooling of the heat exchanger.

In contrast,

The gasket contact pressure was decreased by the partial cooling of the heat exchanger [7].

suggests to readers that the sentence is about the gasket contact pressure.

Refer to concepts that you have already introduced at the beginning of a sentence, and place new information at the end of a sentence.

Structuring sentences this way helps guide readers through the information presented across sentences. Referring to something that has already been mentioned at the beginning of a sentence helps readers understand how that sentence relates to the sentence before it. Placing the new information at the end of a sentence (which is sometimes called the “stress position”) emphasizes that information to readers.

For example, in the following sentence

Marine resources are generally collected for investigation using pipe-shaped samplers. The pipe penetration part limits the sampling range of pipe-shaped samplers, and therefore they are inefficient and expensive for investigating sediments.

the first sentence does not clearly specify that the topic is pipe-shaped samplers, because pipe-shaped samplers is not introduced until the very end of the sentence. In addition, it is not readily clear how the second sentence is connected to the first sentence. Therefore, readers may find the information difficult to follow.

The same information could be rephrased more clearly as

Pipe-shaped samplers are generally used to collect marine resources for investigation. However, they are inefficient and expensive for investigating sediments, because the sampling range is limited to the pipe penetration part [8].

Here, the first sentence establishes that the topic is pipe-shaped samplers. The second sentence uses however to signal a contrast to readers, connects to the first sentence using they, then provides new information describing the limitations of pipe-shaped samplers. The story is easier for readers to follow.

Phrase comparisons clearly

Comparative words

If you use comparative words (such as words ending in -er, more and less), be sure to specify what is being compared.

For example, the sentence

Stride frequency is higher on flat bends.

is unclear because the word higher suggests a comparison, but the sentence does not specify the comparison. The sentence should be rewritten to state both of the things being compared

Stride frequency is higher on flat bends than on cambered bends.

or the comparative word (higher) could be rephrased as

Stride frequency is high on flat bends [9].

Increases and decreases

Increase and decrease should be used to compare changes in values within the same group over time but not to compare differences in the values across different groups.

For example,

The baby’s height was decreased compared with the man’s height.

is phrased awkwardly and may incorrectly suggest that the baby and the man started out with the same height, and then the baby’s height decreased. Instead, what is actually meant is:

The baby’s height was less than the man’s height.

or, if phrased more directly,

The baby was shorter than the man.

This same principle applies to describing different groups in a scientific experiment. For example,

Life-long learning (LLL) scale scores were increased in the control group compared to the experimental group.

should be rephrased as

Life-long learning (LLL) scale scores were higher in the control group compared to the experimental group [10].

But increased can be used if a group is being compared to itself, e.g.,

Life-long learning (LLL) scale scores increased over time in the experimental group.

Times, fold or percentage changes

Descriptions of changes in terms of times, fold or percentage can often be unclear and should be phrased carefully.

Stating that a value changed to a certain value is different from saying that the value changed by a certain value. The word to should be used if the final value is being described, and the word by should be used if the degree of change is being described.

For example, if X increased from 100 to 300, the following descriptions could be used:

X increased to 300.

or

X increased by 200.

or

X increased to three times its initial amount.

or

X increased threefold.

or

X increased by 300%.

References

1. Denton MJ, Tambe SB, Jeng SM. Experimental investigation into the high altitude relight of a three-cup combustor sector. In ASME Turbo Expo 2018: Turbomachinery Technical Conference and Exposition 2018 Jun 11. American Society of Mechanical Engineers Digital Collection.
2. Soloiu V, Moncada J, Muiños M, Gaubert R, Williams J, Breen-Lyles M, Wagenmaker M. Performance of a supercharged engine fueled with a CTL binary mixture at different injection pressures. In ASME 2017 Power Conference Joint With ICOPE-17 collocated with the ASME 2017 11th International Conference on Energy Sustainability, the ASME 2017 15th International Conference on Fuel Cell Science, Engineering and Technology, and the ASME 2017 Nuclear Forum 2017 Jun 26. American Society of Mechanical Engineers Digital Collection.
3. Baratieri M. A case study of gasification CHP in Northern Italy in the European context and comparison to traditional combustion systems. ASME. Available from: http://dx.doi.org/10.1115/1.861950_ch3
4. Tong Y, Li M, Klingmann J, Chen S, Li Z. Experimental investigation on the influences of bluff-body’s position on diffusion flame structures. In ASME 2017 Power Conference Joint With ICOPE-17 collocated with the ASME 2017 11th International Conference on Energy Sustainability, the ASME 2017 15th International Conference on Fuel Cell Science, Engineering and Technology, and the ASME 2017 Nuclear Forum 2017. American Society of Mechanical Engineers Digital Collection.
5. Lin FM, Anderssen E, Yee RK. Heat transfer interface to graphitic foam. In ASME International Mechanical Engineering Congress and Exposition 2019 Nov 11 (Vol. 59452, p. V008T09A073). American Society of Mechanical Engineers.
6. Islam R, Jeong K. Experimental study on effects of operational parameters on a single-cell test-bed vanadium redox flow battery. In ASME International Mechanical Engineering Congress and Exposition 2019 Nov 11 (Vol. 59438, p. V006T06A030). American Society of Mechanical Engineers.
7. Takahashi K, Miyashita T, Kataoka S, Uno Y, Sato T. Effects of partial cooling on tightness of heat exchanger girth flange. In ASME 2017 Pressure Vessels and Piping Conference 2017 Jul 16. American Society of Mechanical Engineers Digital Collection.
8. Isaka K, Tadami N, Fujiwara A, Nakatake T, Suzesawa M, Yamada Y, Yoshida H, Nakamura T. Water jetting excavation and consideration of earth auger shape to reduce drilling torque for seabed robotic explorer. In 2018 IEEE/ASME International Conference on Advanced Intelligent Mechatronics (AIM) 2018 Jul 9 (pp. 887-892). IEEE.
9. Hayati H, Walker P, Mahdavi F, Stephenson R, Brown T, Eager D. A comparative study of rapid quadrupedal sprinting and turning dynamics on different terrains and conditions: Racing greyhounds galloping dynamics. In ASME International Mechanical Engineering Congress and Exposition 2018 Nov 9 (Vol. 52033, p. V04AT06A047). American Society of Mechanical Engineers.
10. Duan C, Peng X, Yuan T, Yalvac B, Ketsetzi A, Lai Hing E, Eseryel D, Eyupoglu TF. Promoting life-long learning skills in cad using the peer-generated screencast tutorials. In ASME International Mechanical Engineering Congress and Exposition 2017 Nov 3 (Vol. 58400, p. V005T06A018). American Society of Mechanical Engineers.